Dear Mark,
I hate gambling with my cousin. Not only is he irritating
to other players on the table, he is very abusive to the dealer.
You have no idea how many times the dealer has to tell him,
could you please do this, don't do that. How about some written
table manners I can pass his way? Janie T.
A front-line employee of a casino, Janie, must obey two rules
when it comes to customers-even your cousin. One, the player
is always right, and two, if the player is wrong, see rule
number one. Not easy when a decent percentage of players are
running on high octane drinks and losing money. And though
Bozo players (what we would call your cousin) get their fair
share of negative commentary in the employee breakroom, a
dealer who lashes out at any customer would be severely reprimanded-fired!
But me, I've been paroled from my 18-year casino sentence,
so I can dole out some table etiquette without repercussion.
Here goes.
Know the proper hit/stand signals for the blackjack game
you're playing.
In baseball, it's two hands for beginners; on a live blackjack
game, the opposite. Some casinos are real touchy-feely (throw
you out) about you doing anything funny to the cards.
Once you've placed your wager, don't touch your bet until
you get paid.
If the cards are running against you, don't keep asking for
a new deck. If you don't like your cards, move to another
table.
Expect with abusive language an early departure from the casino.
Don't ask the dealer what her hole card is. Dealers won't
risk their job over your wager. There's nothing wrong with
asking for advice, but not after the dealer looks under her
face/ace.
If you lose several hands in a row, don't accuse the dealer
of cheating. Most (99.999%) don't. It's most likely a bad
run of cards plus let's not discount poor play. Also, abusing
"the messenger" for crummy cards lacks any form
of civility.
If you're using a basic strategy card (recommended), don't
refer to it each and every hand. You should have a basic understanding
on how to play most of your hands well before you sit down
on a game.
Using these lines? "Are you going to be nice to me?"
Question is, are you going to be nice to them. "Where
are you from?" It's most likely on their nametag. "Do
you live here?" Yes, we're not Martians commuting from
Mars. Try some other light conversation. Note: About every
recipe I know, from avocado dip to chicken wings, came from
some customer.
Don't walk up to a dealer and tell him he looks bored, make
him shuffle a 6-deck shoe just to play one $5 bet, lose, then
walk.
When betting for the dealer (worth at least three separate
columns), keep the ratio a reasonable one. I once had a professional
baseball player betting three hands at $500 a whack, with
just a 50¢ bet for me, the dealer, every third shuffle.
One month earlier he signed a multi-million-dollar, 5-year
contract. His initials are.… I better not.
Once the hand has been completed, don't turn your cards over
to help the dealer. Dealers have a routine and you're just
slowing them down. Besides, dealers need to spread the cards
a certain way so the cameras can read them.
Finally, dealers really don't care if the sign outside their
casino says "certified friendly dealers." They just
want to be treated like you would want to be treated.
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